Posts tagged Self-Esteem
Essential Ingredients to Elevate Your Style Confidence Part 4: Self-Acceptance

Essential Ingredients to Elevate Your Confidence, Part 4 of 5 Parts series: Self-Acceptance.

Have you caught your self being critical about your image, maybe more than you should?

Saying things like, “I don’t like my arms, I’m having a bad hair day, I hate my middle section?”

What if you began to focus on what you do like about yourself?

In business we talk say, “what you focus on, expands.”

Let’s chat about self-acceptance, I know it feels like a big emotional word.

In simple terms, it is, accepting you as you are.

Recognizing your strengths.

Self-acceptance is one of the most essential ingredients to elevating your confidence and letting your radiance be revealed.  

Love to invite you to be part of my private Facebook Group: Style with Significance where we can continue our conversation.

https://www.facebook.com/groups/stylewithsignificance

Essential Ingredients to Elevate Your Style Confidence Part 2: Courage

Have you wondered if you could pull off a specific look?

But you stopped yourself because you were afraid of what others were going to think?

In Part 2 of the 5 Part series, we’re going to talk about Courage.

You may be thinking what does courage have to do with style and image?

More than you think.

The dictionary defines Courage as bravery, which is also the opposite of fear.

Thirty years ago, I learned a concept from the book, Feel the Fear and Do It Anyways.

The ‘bullseye’ of a target was a metaphor of staying inside your comfort zone.

When I learned that, it was a picture I wanted to change.

Are you someone who tends to wear the same styles and same few colors all the time?

If you knew that you would not be judged, what would you love to wear? What image would you like to project?

If you never go outside the ‘bullseye’ circle because you are afraid of what others are going to think, how long will you stay in your bullseye style comfort zone?

What if you took one small step towards a style that made you feel like a million bucks?

One small step to the next circle.

Observe your comfort zone of style growing as well as your Courage and Confidence.

You may be thinking, it’s time to be more visible online or when you enter a zoom room.

Try one NEW accessory piece. Maybe a statement necklace. How does it feel?

One baby step leads to the next big step of courage.

Instead of a head-to-toe red dress, maybe it’s a red shoe. A red necklace.

One step of courage leads to increased confidence which then leads to elevating your Style Confidence.

It’s time to look as good as you feel!

If you are feeling stuck in your style comfort zone and not sure how to get out of it or where to begin, I’m here to help.

Let’s Chat, https://www.annettebond.com/contact

Do You Question if You’re Too Old to Pull-off a Certain Style Look?

Wondering, am I too old to wear that, is that too young for me, can I pull it off?

Another birthday, brings a bigger number and often we question, is that age appropriate?

I’m addressing this question because I just celebrated my birthday.

Instead of focusing on age, what if you tried on something NEW and you felt beautiful and elegant?

Maybe you have told yourself that younger is better?

Begin that conversation in your head with self-acceptance.

Guess what, you’re never going to be younger than you are today.

What if...the color was perfect, you loved how it felt on your body, and it fit like a dream?

What if…you felt more empowered?

As a personal image consultant who helps women with their personal styling and creating authentic confident looks, one thing I know for sure….

Style begins with the woman, not the clothes.

Wear colors and prints that make you feel alive.

Choose styles that make you feel current.

Try a new lip color or gloss.

Stand out and be noticed. I give you permission.

Get outside your comfort zone and try something NEW, have fun.

Look in the mirror, and you will see how young at heart you really are.

Download Style Guide: 7 Secrets to Get Dress with Ease and Style:

https://www.annettebond.com/styleguide

What's Wrong With My Closet?

Have you ever thought, I'm ready to throw out everything in my closet and start over?

Because you're bored with your clothes?

It feels like nothing looks good on you?

When you need that "great outfit" for a special event, you never have it?

Or maybe your closet is just overcrowded and looks like this...

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Did you know that Only 20% of the clothes in the average persons closet are worn on a regular basis according to chief design officer of California closets.

WHY?

It’s a question we ponder every time we stare into our wardrobes and have no clue what to wear. It doesn’t make sense. Your closet is full.

What's Wrong With My Closet?

Is it because you're a creature of habit who can’t be bothered to try new things?

You know it works, so you just keep wearing the same outfit over and over?

A couple of things could be going on.

Yes, we are creatures of habit.

You get a compliment on the outfit and you know it works. So why change.

Or do you have a lot of impulse buys?

It looked great in the store or you were at a clothing party and the sales person said, OMG you have to buy that!

Recently, I met with my new client Heather, who was the one who said, I'm OK with throwing EVERYTHING away and starting from scratch.

Before we do that, I told Heather, I always spend some time in the closet to see if there are any great pieces we can work with.

I come in with a "fresh pair of eyes"

Many of her purchases originated because her sister-in-law said, "you've got to buy that" as they were shopping.

Did you know that when others influence you to buy they are seeing themselves wearing the outfit, not necessarily if it looks good on you?

The day I entered Heather's closet, I helped her create 15 NEW outfits that she never knew existed. She was blown away!

She told me the clothes we threw out, cost her more than the fee she paid me. Had she known what didn't look good on her, she would have NEVER purchased those pieces.

Instead of wearing ONLY 20% of your clothes and feeling frustrated. Let's get your Closet feeling like this...

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Imagine your closet filled with pieces that reflect your unique style all while ELEVATING YOUR IMAGE...

Annette, I'm ready to start LOVING my closet and want it filled with pieces that reflect my unique style.

Let's Talk (click to book a Style Strategy Session)

With Your Definitive Style in Mind,

Annette

Annette Bond works with accomplished, professional women to Elevate their Image. She inspires women to elevate and express the best of who they are Now, so they can go out into the world with greater confidence and ease.

Annette is a Certified Personal Image Consultant AICI CIC, Corporate Image Certified, More Alive With Color™ Certified, and Fashion Feng Shui Facilitator.

Follow me on LinkedIn / Wardrobe Wednesday or Fashion Friday on Facebook

The Sassy RED FUR Coat
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Happy New Year!

This months message was an article I recently wrote for the International Fashion Feng Shui organization. Enjoy!

2018 is here. How are you going to set in motion the New Year?

Searching the internet I found that only a tiny fraction of us keep our resolutions; University of Scranton research suggests that just 8% of people achieve their New Year's goals.

A new Marist Poll found "being a better person" is the most popular New Year's resolution for 2018.

The thought of being a better person is sincere but what about honoring a better version of YOU as we might say in Fashion Feng Shui. If you became a better version of YOU, I believe you would be a happier better person.

And honoring a better version of you would be a natural progression into achieving your New Year’s resolutions – wouldn’t you say?

My vision for 2018 came upon me about 8 weeks ago as I was putting together a description for a “signature seminar” I am planning to implement in 2018. My goal is to step into the spotlight with more speaking engagements just as adding more Fire into my business has been on my radar.

I passed on the description of my “signature seminar” to a colleague, who is a writer and requested her feedback. When the document was returned, she made several modifications. I respected what she proposed but wondered, was that really me?

In that moment, I realized over the last 7 years I’ve shared a barrage of marketing messages. All good, but realized I was a little confused on what message was appropriate for my 2018 signature talk.

I imagine this is how many of you feel about your wardrobe. Confused, inconsistent and unsure of yourself with a closet full of clothes and so many messages?

With this awareness, it has lead me on a path to dig deeper into my brand. Creating a brand message that is fully aligned with not only my essence but intentions for the coming year.

To guide my intentions, I have found in addition to creating written goals (Wood) for the New Year, I adopt a word or phrase. It allows me to express my individuality (Water) and I can just Be with the word and feel what it means to me.

To further embrace your word, Stefania Rolandelli quotes in Fashion Feng Shui for Life, explore your senses. How does your word for the New Year make you feel? How do you feel hearing your words? Seeing your words in action? Does your word have emotion?

Sharing our personal word and goals can be scary and exciting at the same time.

I’m wondering if because only 8% of the people reach their New Year’s resolutions, are they the 8% who dare go deeper into not only stating their goal with passion (Fire), but taking action on the goal (Wood), committing to the goal (Earth), feeling the goal (Water), and setting up frameworks to support the goal (Metal).

There is a vulnerability to owning our goal 100%.

My new Sassy RED FUR coat makes me feel 100% vulnerable in a very good way as I set into motion my 2018 goals.

As I was out Christmas shopping this season, I came across a red fur waist coat from Zara. I tried it on and immediately LOVED it. It spoke to me. As I looked at my husband, his face was saying, OMG you’re going to wear that? That is BOLD. His hesitancy was all over his face. Generally, I don’t let my husband persuade my buying decision but this time I did.

I left the red fur coat behind. I told myself I needed a fur coat that was more neutral and practical.

How many times have you thought you needed a more practical goal (Earth) instead of the goal that made you stretch (Wood) and maybe got you noticed (Fire)?

When I came home I couldn’t stop thinking about the red fur coat. I knew in my heart that the red fur coat symbolized my Intentions and words (Bold Commitment) to my 2018 signature talks.

I was scared to purchase the RED FUR coat. I would have to wear it (the practical Earth in me could not let it hang in my closet with tags on it). I might be judged (Metalin me).

I knew when I walked into a room that the red fur coat would do the talking, it was sassy (was I ready to add more fun with Fire) and I either needed to own the sassy red fur coat or move on (Wood).

Four days later, I ordered the coat. Making the decision to purchase the Sassy RED FUR coat to align with my 2018 goals, words and intentions has never been so purposeful and powerful.

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Loving Stefania’s Rolandelli question in Fashion Feng Shui for Life book, does the clothing piece make you feel vulnerable and why?

When I look in my closet at my Sassy Red Fur Coat, I think of my BOLD COMMITMENT to my 2018 goals and yes I’m feeling a little vulnerable.

Do you have clothing in your closet that is ready to support your 2018 goals/words/intentions and allow you to radiate more of who you are in the New Year?

Are you ready to claim your message and feel it 100%?

If you're in a place of heck yes, I'm ready to ELEVATE and EXPRESS my personal style in 2018, I invite you to join me Saturday, February 3rd for a Fashion Feng Shui Workshop designed especially with you in mind!

Click the Link Below to reserve your spot! 

www.annettebond.com/ffs

With Your Definitive Style In Mind, 

Annette Bond

How to Increase Your Bottom Line, Lipstick in Hand

Over the years there has been many articles and controversy on this subject.

As you can read below, there are many different opinions. I have personally worked with women for 30 some years and what I have found is bottom line...women want to feel confident and feel good about themselves.

5 Things I've Found True about Makeup:

1. Our Image is "an image" in itself.

We are visual human beings and we evaluate our environment on what we see and hear. We gravitate toward situations that appear welcoming.

2. Make-up is a subject that comes up for most women with confidence or hesitancy.  

I meet women 40+ years old all the time that DON'T know how to wear makeup, no one took the time to correctly show them how to apply it. So they have no confidence and most of the time choose not to wear it because it's easier not to.

3. Do most women want to wear make up and feel prettier - I would say Yes!  

Why? Because there is something about looking in the mirror and saying "Wow, I look good." That thought turns into an emotion which then turns into a belief which turns into how they approach their day.

4. Perception.

There is something visually appealing when we see a woman put-together - hair, clothes, makeup and shoes. Yes, I am an Image Consultant and Yes this is what I help women accomplish. But at the end of the day it is all about the beliefs we have about our self. It's how we see our-self.  When we have positive emotions about how we look and feel, we look at every other area of our life in a new light.

5. If wearing a little more makeup can give a woman more confidence to take on the world, earn more income, and make a bigger difference in the world - I SAY WEAR YOUR LIPSTICK AND BE PROUD!

In a study, women were photographed wearing varying amounts of makeup, from left: barefaced, natural, professional and glamorous. Viewers considered the women wearing more makeup to be more competent.

WANT more respect, trust and affection from your co-workers?

Wearing makeup — but not gobs of Gaga-conspicuous makeup — apparently can help. It increases people’s perceptions of a woman’s likeability, her competence and (provided she does not overdo it) her trustworthiness, according to a new study, which also confirmed what is obvious: that cosmetics boost a woman’s attractiveness.

It has long been known that symmetrical faces are considered more comely, and that people assume that handsome folks are intelligent and good. There is also some evidence that women feel more confident when wearing makeup, a kind of placebo effect, said Nancy Etcoff, the study’s lead author and an assistant clinical professor of psychology at Harvard University (yes, scholars there study eyeshadow as well as stem cells). But no research, till now, has given makeup credit for people inferring that a woman was capable, reliable and amiable.

The study was paid for by Procter & Gamble, which sells CoverGirl and Dolce & Gabbana makeup, but researchers like Professor Etcoff and others from Boston University and the Dana-Farber Cancer Institute were responsible for its design and execution.

The study’s 25 female subjects, aged 20 to 50 and white, African-American and Hispanic, were photographed barefaced and in three looks that researchers called natural, professional and glamorous. They were not allowed to look in a mirror, lest their feelings about the way they looked affect observers’ impressions.

One hundred forty-nine adults (including 61 men) judged the pictures for 250 milliseconds each, enough time to make a snap judgment. Then 119 different adults (including 30 men) were given unlimited time to look at the same faces.

The participants judged women made up in varying intensities of luminance contrast (fancy words for how much eyes and lips stand out compared with skin) as more competent than barefaced women, whether they had a quick glance or a longer inspection.

“I’m a little surprised that the relationship held for even the glamour look,” said Richard Russell, an assistant professor of psychology at Gettysburg College in Gettysburg, Pa. “If I call to mind a heavily competent woman like, say, Hillary Clinton, I don’t think of a lot of makeup. Then again, she’s often onstage so for all I know she is wearing a lot.”

However, the glamour look wasn’t all roses.

“If you wear a glam look, you should know you look very attractive” at quick glance, said Professor Etcoff, the author of “Survival of the Prettiest” (Doubleday, 1999), which argued that the pursuit of beauty is a biological as well as a cultural imperative. But over time, “there may be a lowering of trust, so if you are in a situation where you need to be a trusted source, perhaps you should choose a different look.”

Just as boardroom attire differs from what you would wear to a nightclub, so can makeup be chosen strategically depending on the agenda.

“There are times when you want to give a powerful ‘I’m in charge here’ kind of impression, and women shouldn’t be afraid to do that,” by, say, using a deeper lip color that could look shiny, increasing luminosity, said Sarah Vickery, another author of the study and a Procter & Gamble scientist. “Other times you want to give off a more balanced, more collaborative appeal.”

In that case, she suggested, opt for lip tones that are light to moderate in color saturation, providing contrast to facial skin, but not being too glossy.

But some women did not view the study’s findings as progress.

“I don’t wear makeup, nor do I wish to spend 20 minutes applying it,” said Deborah Rhode, a law professor at Stanford University who wrote “The Beauty Bias” (Oxford University Press, 2010), which details how appearance unjustly affects some workers. “The quality of my teaching shouldn’t depend on the color of my lipstick or whether I’ve got mascara on.”

She is no “beauty basher,” she said. “I’m against our preoccupation, and how judgments about attractiveness spill over into judgments about competence and job performance. We like individuals in the job market to be judged on the basis of competence, not cosmetics.”

But Professor Etcoff argued that there has been a cultural shift in ideas about self-adornment, including makeup. “Twenty or 30 years ago, if you got dressed up, it was simply to please men, or it was something you were doing because society demands it,” she said. “Women and feminists today see this is their own choice, and it may be an effective tool.”

Dr. Vickery, whose Ph.D. is in chemistry, added that cosmetics “can significantly change how people see you, how smart people think you are on first impression, or how warm and approachable, and that look is completely within a woman’s control, when there are so many things you cannot control.”

Bobbi Brown, the founder of her namesake cosmetics line, suggested that focusing on others’ perceptions misses the point of what makes makeup powerful.

“We are able to transform ourselves, not only how we are perceived, but how we feel,” she said.

Ms. Brown also said that the wrong color on a subject may have caused some testers to conclude that women with high-contrasting makeup were more “untrustworthy.” “People will have a bad reaction if it’s not the right color, not the right texture, or if the makeup is not enhancing your natural beauty,” she said.

Daniel Hamermesh, an economics professor at the University of Texas at Austin, said the conclusion that makeup makes women look more likable — or more socially cooperative — made sense to him because “we conflate looks and a willingness to take care of yourself with a willingness to take care of people.”

Professor Hamermesh, the author of “Beauty Pays” (Princeton University Press, 2011), which lays out the leg-up the beautiful get, said he wished that good-looking people were not treated differently, but said he was a realist.

“Like any other thing that society rewards, people will take advantage of it,” he said of makeup’s benefits. “I’m an economist, so I say, why not? But I wish society didn’t reward this. I think we’d be a fairer world if beauty were not rewarded, but it is.

Granny Panties, Ugly Shoes and Mom Jeans…

For all of you over 50 women, does this sound like a laughable statement but know maybe you’re one of them. Of course you would never admit it or would you?  The subject of comfortable shoes comes up quite frequently with my clients. How do you find cute comfortable shoes? They usually tell me they’ve succumb to the “ugly shoes” because comfort is more important.

My husband told me recently that granny panties, ugly shoes and mom jeans all go under the frame work of how you see yourself or how you think the world sees you. It got me thinking.  As baby boomers continue to age you have to decide how do you want to show up in the world? Old and ordinary or fierce and fabulous?

I have personally witnessed that there are the women who want to continue their youthfulness and vitality in their 50’s and 60’s in whatever they do. Then there is the camp who has given up and decided they are “old” and their mindset and actions follow.

I hope you have figured it out by now, I am talking about mindset not comfortable shoes, granny panties or mom jeans. Because I think when we decide to go down the road of, “I am old now” our taste in style goes down the drain also.

Instead, how do you want to feel? How do you want to be perceived? There is an energy that follows depending on the answer you chose.

You may need to decide you’re going to step up to the plate and let go of the perceived, I am ordinary, old and over-weight and it doesn’t matter anymore.

I ask myself,

“Why are certain women over 50 afraid to what I refer to as, reveal their radiance”? Have they not come to the point of accepting their bodies? Are they still in the 20 year old mindset of no-style confidence? Did their mothers scar them for life? Did a man in their life not tell them they were sexy? Or did they just give up and say, “Oh I’m fifty now so it doesn’t matter”?

Ladies, ladies you are so smart, full of wisdom, courageous, sexy, amazing and you don’t even know it. One of the subjects I teach on is what is that “made up perceived image” that you have been telling yourself for years?  It’s time to identify it, acknowledge it and replace it with a NEW perceived image of yourself.  It’s time to wear the cute comfortable shoes, vanishing lace panties and hot jeans for women over 50.

Own Your Style Confidence Style Guide (Download Here)

My financial planner tells me I am going to be around until I’m 93 years old so that means I still have 40 years to live, that means these are the good ole days, the days when I have my health, my energy, my 50 year old body that gets me around quite well and lots of choices in life.

It’s time to let go of the 50 years of made-up perceived body image and move into your “ideal image” and live life with vitality. Stop waiting for when the “time is right” or “someday”. That someday is TODAY! Today is the present, a gift for you.

I’m one of you, I’m 55 and loving life to its fullest. Wearing cute comfortable shoes, hot jeans that hug my hips that I forever hated back in my 20’s.  And wearing vanishing no-line panties that flatter every pant I wear.  Life is good.

Are you frustrated each morning when you have to get dressed because your clothes are tired and lack pizzazz?  Do you feel overwhelmed when trying to decide what to keep and what to get rid of in your closet? Do you have some great pieces but need help with mixing and matching the clothes you already have in your closet?

Own Your Style with Confidence - Style Guide - Download Here

If you’re ready to get your style figured out - let’s have a casual conversation so I can get to know you and learn more about what’s keeping you stuck.

Schedule a time https://www.annettebond.com/contact

How Do You Define Yourself? (Video)

I came across this post on Facebook last week and wanted to share it.  The title was, "how do you define yourself”?  Lizzie Velasquez, a young woman born with a rare condition which causes her to have a hyper metabolism and keeps her from gaining any weight.  After watching this video I’m sure you were thinking the same thing as me, wow life is pretty darn good what do I have to complain about.  As I was watching the women in audience fill up with tears myself included, realizing that if a young woman like Lizzie can have such a positive outlook on life,  I have absolutely no excuses. For Lizzie, the glass has always been half full...I so admire her courage, her strength and the self love she radiates.

For some reason we can get caught in seeing all the negative at times and forget about all the positives.  I remember back in my 20's I hated my thighs.  I would do anything to get rid of those thighs.  Man, I sure wish I had those thighs now in my 50's LOL.  How many times have you been in the dressing room and thought the outfit looked amazing except that one thing...we as women can get hyper focused on our weaknesses.

I am not at all saying not to look and feel amazing in your outfit but I am saying stop defining yourself because it's not "all perfect".  Love yourself just the way you are, see your strengths, see your positives, see the way you give, see your smile, see the way you treat others, and see the glass half full as Lizzie does.