Your Personal Image + Likeability = The Whole Story
We know you are looking and feeling amazing on the outside but we also know there is more to a person than simply their clothing. I am fascinated by the Likeability Factor. I believe the L-Factor can give you that extra edge when making a great first impression and building authentic relationships.
Being a big fan of the TV show, The Voice, I have observed over and over how individuals are voted on by the American public. They may have the best voice ever but if the viewers do not find them likeable…it shows in the voting. On the other hand, we’ve all met those people that we really like, and you may have never given it a second thought to why you like them so much, that is the Likeability Factor at work.
This is an area that I suggest you become more aware of when you are presenting yourself whether for business or pleasure. I believe it make a big difference in how you are perceived.
4 Elements that Create Your Likeability Factor:
Expressing a general positive feeling. If someone perceives that you like them, they will most likely like you back. Without reciprocation, likeability is not likely to happen.
Friendliness is about developing a friendly mind-set. Get rid of unfriendly.
How to show friendly signs:
- Let them see you SMILE before you say a word
- When you greet others, lead with your smile
- Make eye contact
- Use your eye brows
- Use your eyes to show emotion
- Hold your head up when you talk
- Maintain good posture
- Use friendly words such as wonderful, excellent, awesome, beautiful, perfect, appreciate, inspiring, etc.
- Use friendly phrases such as nice to see you, glad you are here, welcome, how can I help, absolutely, and sure.
BE YOURSELF ALWAYS. THIS IS ABOUT BEING A BETTER YOU.
Relevance is the extent to which the other person connects to your life’s interests, wants and needs. The variable is the strength of the connection. When people connect with one of your high-level interests or needs their relevance to you soars.
3 LEVELS OF RELEVANCE: BASIC CONTACT, MUTUAL INTERESTS, VALUE
How to show relevance:
- Basic contact: Part of the same group. Live by each other
- When others are in frequent contact with you, they have a bias to like you
- Improve the quality of your contacts by staying connected
- Mutual interests: discover what your contacts interests are. You’re developing commonality. Connect with others wants and needs. The variable is the strength of the connection.
- Value: if you possess a skill that will help someone complete a task, you are more relevant to that person.
- Likeability and interests are related, because when two people have a passion in common, they are connected at the sweet spot, which is at the heart of being relevant.
Can you see things from their point of view? Can you feel what they feel? Can you walk in that persons shoes?
Empathy delivers the psychological benefits, personal worth, how you feel, validated, appreciated, and special.
How to show empathy:
- If you’re not aware of others’ feelings, you can be perceived as insensitive
- Don’t interrupt
- Wear your listening cap. Commit to being a better listener to understand how others feel
- Ask, don’t tell. Ask for details
- Remember conversations
We ask the question is this person real? Genuine, trustworthy, authentic. When we search for realness in another person, we recognize it by its absence.
How to show realness:
- Be true to yourself. You must know the real you.
- Let your values be your compass as you navigate life.
- Practice humility. Watch out for exaggeration.
- Share your realness. Learn to say, “I don’t know.”
- Be present. Whenever you are with others, be with them 100%.
How to Find Your Likeable Self:
1. Try to recall the last time someone paid you a compliment
2. What compliments did you most enjoy receiving?
3. Think about your biggest fan, this person talks about you in glowing terms.
4. What converted her from an acquaintance to a supporter?
5. What would be 2 likeable features she would say?
6. Role model – someone you admire & want to emulate – top 2 features
7. Identify the features that contribute to a high L-factor in yourself and others.
What Others Say About YOU… Be More of That!
*Information obtained from the book, The Likeability Factor by Tim Sanders.